A is for Ambition: Big Dreams, Little Hearts

Hello, my friends. The focus letter this week is A and stands for Ambition. We find Alfie the Ant, from Alphabet Town: the abcs for raising successful kids, dreaming big dreams. Ants are experts on ambition. Ants may be small creatures, but they have big jobs, enormous for their size!

Ambition is one of those words that asks us to pause and reflect on what it truly means to us. For some, it’s a valued trait, symbolizing drive, purpose, and growth. For others, it brings up painful memories, like relationships strained or broken under the weight of misaligned or unchecked ambition. Within Alphabet Town’s diverse community of parents and caregivers, these differing experiences shape how we define this complex quality. That’s why exploring ambition requires thoughtful, honest consideration.

Parents, let’s start by acknowledging that ambition isn’t just a grown-up word or a trait that appears in adulthood. In truth, ambition begins in early childhood. As adults, we often define ambition through achievements, such as promotions, accomplishments, or goals met. It’s measured by success. But for children, ambition shows up not in their successes, but in what they do after they fall short.

So, dear parents and caregivers, ambition in childhood isn’t about pushing harder or louder. It’s not about adult benchmarks. It’s about how a child chooses to try again after failing. Ambition for a child sounds like a quiet voice whispering, “I messed up, but I will try again.”

Because we are building brain-based social-emotional skills in our young ones, we need to look at the growth of ambition from a neuroscientific perspective. Early childhood marks a window of opportunity for developing motivation, goal setting, and perseverance. During this developmental timeframe, a child’s brain forms more than one million new neural connections per second. This rapid development lays the neural highway that drives how children will pursue goals, manage frustration, and build confidence, later in life. In other words – AMBITION.

How to Foster Ambition

1. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Success

   
   

   Praise effort, rather than praising a child’s fixed traits (like being smart, pretty, or talented.) Identify the specific effort, rather than saying, “good job or you tried.”

   • Acknowledge what you observe by saying something like:

     • “I can see how hard you worked on your picture. You really paid attention to how you used your colors. You stuck with it until you felt proud of your work. I see your effort, and it matters!”

• Anchor your encouraging praise: Follow up your words with a physical connection, like a wink, a pat on the back, even a thumbs up or a knuckle bump. These physical actions anchor your words deep into your child’s emotional memory.

2. Let Them Try (and Try Again)

   
   

   Ambition starts as a planted seed, but it is the very act of “struggling” that causes ambition’s seed to bloom. When your child faces a challenge, no matter their age, their brain releases the brain-builder, dopamine. This is a critical neurotransmitter for supporting motivation and reward. Dopamine creates a feedback loop in the brain that supports children overcoming challenges and reinforcing neural pathways that are linked to resilience and self-efficacy - especially when we grown-ups purposely pause before rescuing the struggling child.

   • Instead of stepping in to fix it, try open-ended questions like:

     • “What do you think we could try next?”

     • “Would you like help, or do you want to keep going?”

       
       

3. Dream Together

   
   

   If this grandmother and life-long child advocate could choose only one strategy to support developing ambition, dreaming together, using imaginative play and dream-talking, would be my choice forever! Stop trying to figure it out and just enjoy the moment. (To often I forgot to do this, and sweet parents, I am here to remind you that we cannot get this time back.)

   How do we dream together? Try throwing a sheet over the dining room table and turn the chairs over so your child can safely climb over them to find the hidden treasure cave under the table. From underneath an old sheet, be still, wait, and I promise you, your child will show you the next step.

   This simple magic cultivates the seeds of ambition. Do not worry about “how.” Just flow in the magic of being, really being, with the amazing gift laughing in your lap, under the table. These memory making moments will pass quickly…and we never know the last time imagination will spark and a fort will be built in the living room.

You are planting deep, lasting seeds in your child’s soul-soil. Every time you encourage a new attempt, choose to pause instead of fix, and dream alongside them, you are nurturing ambition. Not the kind that burns them out, but the kind that lifts them up so they can one day lift others.

Oh, dear parents, please know that someone sees your effort. Your longing to slow down, to be present, to give your best even when it doesn’t feel like enough. It’s okay. You are making a difference. Don’t dwell on what you can’t give or the time you wish you had. I made that mistake for too many years.

Instead, lean in. Embrace the moment. Look closely at the anthill with them. Cheer them on as they reach for that branch just beyond their grasp. Stay up late to finish the science project, not in frustration, but in connection. Let the shared time mean more than the stress behind it.

My grown children have taught me that it was those “borrowed” moments - stolen from the chaos of working three jobs, going back to school, and raising three caring kids - that stayed with them. They remember the little things. The presence. The pauses. The love tucked into the in-between.

And if you’ve ever cried a quiet tear of regret, thinking no one notices, please hear me. I see you. I see how hard you’re trying. And I could not be prouder of the way you’re raising those incredible kids.

With all my heart,

Ms. Grandma Reads