Q is for Questioning: Little Minds, Big Questions

Hello my precious friends.

There’s a letter in the alphabet that doesn’t get very much attention but I think it’s one of the most powerful letters of all: Q! In Alphabet Town: The ABCs of Raising Successful Kids, we learn that Q is for Questioning.

It is no secret that we live in a world that values answers over the actual question. In fact, we always want the answer and we want it fast. As adults, we also want it to agree with the answer we have already formed in our minds. But children’s minds are not like ours. Answers create more questions in their minds. I know you have been frustrated when that one child continues to ask, "why," over and over again. If you are like me, you finally say, "because I said so," frustrated that the questioning has become the real time taker and not the answer.

Parents, this is where children are smarter than we are. Our children know that rushing past the questions, cause us (grown-ups and children alike) to miss the chance to grow. Our young ones know that questions are not just how the brain learns but also how the heart connects to what cannot be seen. Questions provoke the act of imagination to burst out of a box where creativity lives.

"Ms. Grandma, is there a reason children continue to ask "why?" Well I am so glad you asked - it is a great question.

When a child asks a question, it’s not just cute, it’s cognitive construction in progress. In other words, questioning builds thinking, processes, and skills. According to researchers at Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, responsive back-and-forth interactions - called “serve and return” - are foundational to brain architecture. Every time you pause and thoughtfully respond to your child’s question, you’re helping build neural pathways that support attention, emotional regulation, language development, and memory.

Think of it like this:

When asking a questions, a child’s brain is building a bridge to understanding. Your patient and thoughtful reply to your child’s curiosity is the mortar that holds the structure together.

In one study, preschool children who were encouraged to ask questions and engage in open-ended conversation showed stronger problem-solving skills, increased vocabulary, and better emotional awareness by the time they entered kindergarten. (National Scientific Council on the Developing Child, 2004–2009.) Don’t you think this is a powerful reason to protect our children’s critical curiosity?

Our children are born already wired to wonder. Unfortunately, the hard truth of this wonder is that by the time many children reach third grade, they’ve learned to stop asking questions, feeling that their questions are considered a waste of time and of no real value. Your children have already absorbed messages like:

“Stop asking so many questions.”

“Just do it this way.”

“You don’t need to know that right now.”

And slowly, my precious parents, the light of curiosity in your child’s mind and heart just simply begins to dim.

That is why Q is such a vital letter in Alphabet Town; The ABCs of Raising Successful Kids. It reminds us that a questioning child is not being difficult - they’re doing their most important job: learning.

How can we thoughtfully encourage questioning in our children?

Let’s make space for questions again. Not just the serious ones - but the silly, strange, sideways ones too.

I love these tried and true ideas to encourage your family to love questions again.

Pick one or two ideas you can try at home:

1. When your child asks a question, ask one back: “Hmm… what do you think?”

2. Designate a “Wonder Wall” or notebook to write down all wild questions they can think of.

3. Replace lectures with curiosity: “I wonder why that happened. What do you think?”

4. Spark curious conversation with prompts like:

a) “If you could ask a question to a tree, what would it be?”

b) “What do you think the sky is made of?”

c) “What’s something you don’t understand yet, but want to learn?”

Even better? Let them see you ask questions too. Let them hear you say, “I’m not sure, but let’s find out together.”

You are not just giving them information, you are giving them permission to be lifelong learners.

Parents, I believe our child’s questions are what slow us down in the best way. They anchor us in the moment. They help our children feel seen, heard, and respected. They teach them that their voice matters - even when it ends in a question mark.

So this week, I invite you to do something simple and powerful:

Ask one more question. Answer one more with gentleness. And wonder out loud together.

You don’t have to be an expert. You just have to be open.

Parents, I see you raising those kids so wonderfully. I’m proud of you. Don’t give up. It only takes one question…