M is for Mistakes: The Brain Loves Mistakes

Hello, my precious friends,

What an amazing opportunity for us to share an experience that we’ve encountered and our letter of the week says it all – M stands for MISTAKES.

Have you ever watched your child work on a new task, like putting a puzzle together or riding a bike without training wheels? You can almost see the frustration in their face as they try and try again – only to fail. The wrong piece in the puzzle, pushing instead of breaking. The result is the same – “frustration” over one more mistake.

In that moment between frustration and success, the brain makes a choice and then it happens - MAGIC. Magic closes the gap between trying one more time or giving up. MISTAKES signal a challenge to the brain and heart of the young child.

Children do not know how to move through mistakes. Moving through mistakes is not something that can be easily taught, rather dear parents, it must be caught. Your children must catch you in the act of navigating successfully through your mistakes. They must see that spark of determination in the face of failed attempts.

The brain sends the spark to signal a new idea, a slight change from defeat to determination. That spark? That is learning in action.

Mistakes Are Not Failures. They’re Feedback.

In early childhood education, we know that the brain is not wired for perfection—it’s wired for growth. During the early years, birth to age 8, children’s brains are developing more than a million neural learning connections every second. What parent would not want to invest in their child’s super highway for learning? How can you create experiences for these learning connections to accelerate? Let them make their mistakes. Knowing you are close by is enough to provide them with the courage to:

· Try

· Struggle

· Fail and try again

Mistakes provide the brain with real time information to rewire, adjust, and adapt. It’s what the scientists call neuroplasticity. I like to call it: “growing your brain roots.”

When we say things like, “It’s okay to make mistakes,” we aren’t just being kind. 

We’re being scientific. We’re telling children, “Hey, your brain is learning right now. Let’s keep 

going.”

The Role of Social-Emotional Learning (SEL)

Because learning isn’t just about cognition or thinking, we must consider the deep emotional aspect of learning. Unfortunately, dear friends, this is the side of learning that is not only overlooked but often disregarded fully, causing the process of growth and development to become lopsided, at best.

You must understand that when a child makes a mistake and hears shame (“Ugh, why did you do that?”), the brain actually triggers stress chemicals to flood in, and instead of learning, the child’s brain moves into survival mode, basically clamping off the learning aspect or  “shutting down.” 

The GOOD News

You can drastically change the learning scenario by saying something like, “That didn’t go how you hoped. Let’s figure it out together.”  Your words have such power and in one sentence you move your child’s brain to “safety mode.” Now, the neurons begin to fire in the frontal lobes of the brain where executive thinking takes place. You just changed the brain and heart of your precious child. You made them know that learning can be a safe place to make mistakes.

This is what makes me love Alphabet Town: the abc’s of raising successful kids. We teach the children the alphabet BUT from the foundation of life lessons.

In our book,  the M is for Mistakes page, Alfie the Ant spills paint everywhere. He’s embarrassed, frustrated, and clearly upset. But Charlie the Clever Cat doesn’t scold him. He says, “That’s okay—sometimes art is messy.” His simple response gracefully shows us how to model:

1)Self-compassion

2)Peer empathy

3)Problem-solving

And those, my dear friends, are Social-Emotional Learning superpowers.

Unfortunately, positive verbal support does not come without practice and patience.

So here are a few phrases that build brains and hearts when mistakes happen:

“That didn’t go the way you planned. What can we try next?”

“Mistakes help your brain grow stronger.”

“You don’t have to get it right the first time. You just have to keep trying.”

“You’re not alone. I’m here with you.”

Let’s Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

When we send the message that says you only learn when you get it right, we accidentally teach them that mistakes are shameful. 

But when we celebrate effort, strategy, and resilience, we raise kids who are bold, curious, and emotionally strong.

So, parents and caregivers, the next time your child spills the cereal, mispronounces a word, or struggles with a puzzle— pause and smile. MISTAKES and MISHAPS train the brain for success and the heart for celebration. This IS the work of young child. Your work is to build their confidence.

Reflection Question: Can you remember a time you made a mistake and learned something wonderful because of it? Can you share that story with your child this week?

AND YOU, my precious friends, are  doing the sacred work of making mistakes into everyday miracles.

Parents, I couldn’t be prouder. I see you raising those kids so wonderfully. Keep holding space for their growth.

With love,

Ms. Grandma Reads