The Impact of Connection

Hello, my precious friends.

Congratulations on successfully traveling through our first season of learning about “raising successful kids.” Getting to know the adorable characters and their defining personality traits that paint the pages of Alphabet Town, evidences the reality that a profoundly good children’s book reaches the child in all of us, regardless of our age. 

This blog is about hope. You see, precious parents, you will pass through seasons of failure among triumphs while raising kind and giving children. But just like the rhythm found in nature, times of hardship and tears gently move into an understanding that hope has been anchored in the complexity of one simple concept – connection.

Usually, at this point in Ms. Grandma Reads, I share research and science to validate what may seem sappy or too emotional for educational discipline. I try to emphasize your absolute importance in the life-long position of your child’s first teacher. But today, I want to share with you a “Memory Moment” or a real-life lesson that anchors the impact of connection. 

Four weeks ago, we had a calf born. It was a difficult birth, and the mama cow did not expect her calf to survive, so she refused to feed the baby. From the moment my husband pulled the calf into this world, my 75-year-old country boy became a surrogate mother. The giant baby bottles and messy milk preparation three times a day began to wear on him. Looking for a better way to get nutrients into this cow, we found a bucket with a nipple on it and managed to hang the bucket at a level the little calf could reach. This bucket worked for a couple of days until - it did not.

We mixed and poured the milk in the bucket and waited inside for “Penny” to finish eating. Much to our concern, Penny did not eat breakfast, or lunch, or supper. Something was drastically wrong. We talked about preparing the grandchildren for what the mama cow seemed to know – Penny would not survive. 

When we told our granddaughter that Penny would not survive long without food, she looked at me puzzled, and with obvious confidence she said, “Penny does not like the bucket. She wants “Papa” to give her a bottle, talk to her and pet her like he did when she was first born.” My husband and I looked at each other with eyes that recognized the wisdom of someone not willing to give up.

You already know the end of this Memory Moment. My granddaughter was right. Penny’s innate need for something more important than sustenance had caused her to refuse food. She would die without the food, but she could not live without connection.

I usually would define the word “connection” for you, but connection is different for all, and between all of us. Our granddaughter recognized Penny's need for connection so innately, the way young children need their parents. Connection is that moment that gives breath to life. Connection is a need within us greater than food and warmth. Connection quietly, but with great resolve whispers, “I need you, you need me, we will walk together, you are not alone." So dear parents, if I had just one word to leave with you, it would be connection. 

How do we foster connection in our relationships with our children? Oh, precious ones, that is between you and your unique child. Please find what sparks that connection. Know that it is not time or energy alone. Connection for you does not automatically mean connection for your child. It may be years later when you see the result of connection. 

The need for connection doesn’t end as our children age. As human beings we innately feel the desire to connect with others. This is one of the best parts of parenting. Even when we think they might not need us anymore...they still do.

As I shared above, connection comes in all forms and is unique to your relationship with your child. I have been fortunate over the past year to form a new connection with my own child, and I didn’t even notice that is what was happening at first. It is a connection rooted in shared passion, one that I had not realized until I read a simple, children’s book. A book that mirrored my own heart’s desire. A book that taught all the amazing gifts I spent 60 years trying to bring to young children and their parents. A book written by the kindest man I know - my son. Thank you for welcoming Alphabet Town: The ABC’s of Raising Successful Kids and Ms. Grandma Reads into your life. We look forward to all the adventures to come.

With all my love,

Ms. Grandma Reads